oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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