Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
