He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
