He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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