as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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