One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
