Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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