just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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