My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
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