I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
