No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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