i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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