She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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