summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
