Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
