She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
