Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
