I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just invented taco cereal.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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