i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize