It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
organizing the empties. That sober.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
