I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize