She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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