I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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