well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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