I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
