He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
