He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
