Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
they need to just BURY HIM!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
