as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize