Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
