Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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