he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize