How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
