Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
