a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize