you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
