Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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