you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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