i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
