Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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