I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
