dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize