Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
