bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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