My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i think my cat just said my name.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize