I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
