he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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