he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I love having hate sex.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The adults are the big ones right?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
