who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
