8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
