OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize