he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
