piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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