I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize