Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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