Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
