I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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