I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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