Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
