He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
