I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I fill condoms, not promises.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
