Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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