What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
