Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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