I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The power of my boobs compel you
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
