Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
