I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
