This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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