Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
