Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
