I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
