i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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