Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
