didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
