Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
