i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
