I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
