i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
