It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize