You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I think a kid would responsible me up
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
