Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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