Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
